Rabbit Maruhage Empire: RABBITS ARE EVIL
by penguinkirby
Summary: There is a new empire! This empire could possibly be worse than the Chroome-Dome,Neo-Chrome Dome,the Chrome Dome from a long time ago, or 0-Block! Sorry if it was a sad summary - .
1. Gasser's Scream

Chapter 1: Kill rabbits. Bobobo was busy plucking bobo-carrots with Jelly Jiggler and Don Patch at a secret military base

while wearing a pink dress.(1) Yep, the story begins.

"I see an irregular bobo-carrot that looks like rabbit ears," Don Patch said, suddenly wearing scientific square glasses.

"BUT THAT LOOKS EXACTLY LIKE THE OTHER ONES!" Dengakuman pointed out with octagonal eyes.

"I never asked you..." Don Patch whispered, taking out a Death Note.

!

Jelly Jiggler popped up behind. Don Patch. "Calm down, jelly can solve anything," Jelly Jiggler said, patting Don Patch on the head. Don Patch wrote "Jelly Jiggler: death by a cat's FALCON PUNCH!" Jelly Jiggler's eyes popped out. "What did I do?"

The theme music from when Captain Falcon killed Black Shadow started playing. A blue car flew through the air above Jelly Jiggler. Even though he didn't want to, Jelly Jiggler turned black and shouted,"What the shinen...SHINENZU!"

Don Patch in his cat suit jumped through the air screaming,"FALCON PUNCH!" HIS CAT EARS FELL OFF! WTF! HIS TRUE IDENTITY IS DON PATCH! He smashed Jelly Jiggler's face out, which hit Dengakuman, and they flew into the sky while coughing up blood.

Jelly Jiggler sighed," That was a close one. IT WAS A DECOY!" Jelly Jiggler smashed Don Patch with a radish.

Don Patch walked out behind Jelly Jiggler. "...you blew up my decoy...THAT MAKES ME ANGRY!" He said, turning into Professional Patch. However, this Professional Patch had long pink hair and innocent eyes. Beauty sweat-dropped.

Jelly Jiggler whimpered and hid behind the bobo-carrot rabbit thing.

"M-m-mikuru beam..." Professional Patch said. Gasser wrote in his notebook and said,"Interesting..."

A huge golden blast of energy went from Professional Patch's forehead to Jelly Jiggler. Unforeseen,

Bobobo jumped through the air and knocked Jelly Jiggler out of the way, leaving the poor bobo-carrot rabbit thing to die.

"Vegegler, what does the scouter say about Beauty's affairs?" Bobobo asked.

Jelly Jiggler crushed his scouter in one hand. "She's doing it with OVER 9000 PEOPLE!"

Gasser screamed so much he was removed from the story.(2)

Meanwhile, the rabbit thing was bleeding in a pool of his blood. "Urgh...they defeated me without trying to defeat me..." Bobobo suddenly saw it and teleported next to it.

Don Patch and Jelly Jiggler became serious and walked over. Beauty was to busy being emo to care. "I am from the...Rabbit Maruhage Empire..." the rabbit thing said. Don Patch was picking his nose and dropped a booger, which caused the rabbit thing to have a heart attack and die.

Bobobo was wearing a hockey mask and carrying a chainsaw, and when the rabbit thing died, he said,"THAT BITCH DON PATCH BEAT ME TO IT!" while revving up the chainsaw.

"You said it sista!" Don Patch said, also revving up his chainsaw.

When Beauty finally recovered, she said,"Hmmmmm...another hair hunt empire...Bobobo, what do we do now?"

"DESTROY IT BECAUSE WE ALL HATE RABBITS," Bobobo,Jelly Jiggler, and Don Patch said, while brandishing chainsaws.

Notes:Chapter is done. Sorry if it was a little short ^-^ or if the ****ing frame shows up

Not much significance there.

Vote in the review. If you want him to come back, say YES. If not, NO. On the second thought, no matter what you do, he is GONE FOREVER. Muh-hah-hah-hah!


	2. A Red KoPatch

From now on, I will have a scene before the chapter. :) Oh yeah, the numbers in the notes didn't show up last chapter, so if you want Gasser in the story, say it in the reviews. Yes must have at least 5 more than No. Plus, THE FRAME DOESN'T SHOW UP.

Gasser had a white T-shirt,black pants, and a black jacket on. He raised the Rave Sword (1)"Ready Musicagler?"

Jelly Jiggler/Musica identity theft/Musicagler had spiky black hair and looked almost exactly like Jelly Jiggler. "Ready is my girlfriend's grandson's middle name, Haruser.", Musicagler replied, raising his silver radish spear.

"Then let's attack Dengacia!", Haruser yelled turning to face Dengakuman, who had dark blonde spiky hair. "Explosifart!"

"Silver Radish Colseca!" Musicagler shouted.

Jelly Jiggler's silver spear twirled very fast in his hand causing a tornado. Gasser's sword caused a fart explosion that mingled with the tornado, sending it towards Dengakuman.

Dengakuman calmly raised a piece of golden tofu with a purple gem imbedded in it. "Tofu dipped in miso on a stick...destroy all that is meaningless..." (2) The ground under Gasser and Jelly Jiggler exploded, and they were flung 50 feet.

Jelly Jiggler was bleeding silently on the floor, unconscious, and Gasser was kneeling on one knee with blood dripping out the corner of his mouth. "How...how...how can he have so much power?..."

Dengakuman was now dressed like Ike. "I fight for my friends." he said.

Jelly Jiggler was suddenly awake with no injuries and a question mark above his head. "He has friends?" he wondered aloud.

Dengakuman was suddenly on his knees. "He's right...I have no friends..." he thought. To be continued...

Chapter 2:Rabbit Hunting

Bobobo, Jelly Jiggler, and Don Patch had camouflaged hats on and were holding rifles. "Shhhhh, we're hunting wabbits."

Beauty frowned. "I think we're going the wrong direction. On this map it says we're going to the place Hatenko conquered to make people worship Don Patch.(3)", she said, holding a map.

"I have the real map.", Jelly Jiggler said, cleverly holding up his Nu lucky hanky and waving it.

Beauty's jaw dropped. "But all it has on it are lucky signs!"

"Think again", said Jelly Jiggler, who flipped his hanky over, revealing a detailed map of Earth. "I even have a Nu magnifying glass to go with it."

Beauty freaked out. "How suspiciously convenient!"

Jelly Jiggler's eyes turned into black ovals with white smaller ovals at the top, while the background turned pink with sparkles and bubbles. "We'll use the lucky side!" he declared.

"That's a great idea, Jelly Jiggler!" said Bobobo. "The signs definitely point over there." Bobobo pointed to Hatenko's castle.

"Heheheh..." Beauty thought. "I'll force Hatenko to be the straight man so I can do it with Hydrate..."

Hatenko suddenly looked over the top of his castle."Someone is thinking about me." His eyes bugged out like Jelly Jiggler's and he flapped tiny paper wings attached to his arms. He said,"Twitter-twitter-twitter-tweet!" as he flew and landed on the ground.

"Boss!" he said with the same bugged out eyes. "Can I join you? Huh? Huh? Huh?" But then he turned and glared at Beauty.

"You were trying to make me the straight man so you could do it with Hydrate." he said matter-of-factly.

Beauty freaked out. "Damn...how did he know!" she thought.

"Super Fist of The Key...Kingdom Hearts!" Hatenko put on Mickey Mouse ears and pulled his keyblade out of hammerspace and stabbed Beauty with it. Beauty appeared unharmed. "Hahahahah...I have nullified your ability to do it!"

Jelly Jiggler suddenly crept up behind Hatenko and stole his keyblade. Hatenko glared. "That cost me 5 dollars at Disneyland!"

Jelly Jiggler suddenly started drooling...

and grinned as he tapped Beauty on the back with it...

and grinned even more when Beauty's chest started to expand.

Beauty freaked out. "Jelly Jiggler...I'LL KILL YOU ONCE I COME BACK IN THE NEXT CHAPTER!" She ran away.

Jelly Jiggler gave the keyblade back to Hatenko...when a somewhat random rabbit wearing armor flew through the air and tried to kill Bobobo with a electrical machete!

Jelly Jiggler was in his happy place still, so he didn't say anything when Bobobo absentmindedly grabbed him to use as a shield.

The rabbit jumped backwards, did a backflip, and landed on his feet, ready to defend.

Instead of attacking, Bobobo picked his nose. Don Patch had on Saiyan armor and had spiky black hair. "The rock says he is C-block commander!" Don Patch said, crushing a rock.

The rabbit smiled thinly. "Indeed I am, Saiyan. I have come to destroy Bobobo, whose poprocks companion has killed my left hand man."

"You mean me?" said the so called Saiyan. "I didn't do it, Beauty did, and she's having plastic surgery or something, so yeah."

"Very well" replied the rabbit. "I will send my right hand man, Seto Kaiba, to defeat you in a duel. Only the block commanders have to be rabbits."

"He can't possibly defeat me with his mere Blue Eyes White Dragons" Don Patch said. "I have Darkness Neosphere."

"Jelly Jiggler suddenly snapped out of it. "What? You're dueling Kaiba?I wanna watch!"

"Fine then", said Kaiba, who had just floated down from the sky.

Don Patch was suddenly dressed as a Slifer Red with multiple shades of brown hair. "It's time to duel."

Hatenko was waving a 'I love boss' sign and shouting,"Go, boss, go!"

"I summon Elemental Hero Captain Gold in attack mode. I activate the field card Skyscraper. I play one card face down and I end my turn." Don Patch stated.

"I summon Kaibaman and play one card face down. I end my turn." Kaiba said, clearly losing.

"I activate DNA Surgery! I change the type to fiend. I summon Don Patchman and I end my turn."

"I activate Double Summon! I summon 2 more Kaibamans. I Tribute each one for a Blue Eyes White Dragon and activate my face down card, Pot of Greed! From my hand, I activate Polymerization! I send my 3 Blue Eyes White Dragons to the Graveyard to summon Blue Eyes Ultimate Dragon! Destroy his Elemental hero Captain Gold!" Kaiba said in a victory dance.

"Heheheh...I activate Darkness Neosphere's effect. I send Kuriboh from my hand, and Elemental Hero Captain Gold to the Graveyard to summon it!" Don Patch replied. Don Patch was barely damaged from the attack. His LP dropped to 7500.

"I activate Don Patchman's effect...I add the spell card, Don Patch Dragon Sword to my hand! I can destroy up to 3 monsters on the field to inflict damage equal to their attack x 2 with this cards effect." Don Patch said calmly.

"But that's illegal!"

"You use Dark Hole."

"..." Kaiba didn't say anything as his LP dropped to -11000. Suddenly, a meteor struck Kaiba and he turned in to a red KoPatch...

"Strange...I thought I set it to Lightning:Blue KoPatch." Don Patch commented.

Jelly Jiggler held his deck above his head and said,"Duel me..." dreamily to the Kaiba KoPatch.

Hatenko however, was cheering so much, he didn't notice Bobobo steal his wallet to buy a keyblade at Disneyland...

Notes: The matter of Gasser Yes or No is still on. Sorry if last chapter I didn't have these. Points down* Silly me.

The sword Haru uses in Rave Master.

Also from Rave Master. Lucia uses a DB (Gold cross thing with gem in center) to blow up things. Instead of "tofu dipped in miso on a stick", he says "Mother".

From Bobobo Kyokusetsu(By Roxius) it says that Hatenko conquered a civilization and forced the people there to worship Don Patch.

I bet you want to know how Beauty's doing. Too bad. You have to wait till next chapter. :P


	3. Super Fist of the Darkness Straightman

Damn it! The numbers at the bottom don't show up! I guess I have to number it like this then. 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. Sorry if I'm not typing fast enough. I guess I'm just lazy.:3 Oh, yeah, I opened a poll on my profile to vote on the Gasser thing.

A rock suddenly next to Dengakuman. "Wanna be my friend?" it said.

"Sure!" Dengakuman said, adding the rock to his friends list on Facebook. Dengakuman suddenly had a huge yellow aura and his hair became yellow, longer, and spikier. "Tofuuuuu...tofuuuuu...MISO !

A red beam of light with tofu rotating around it burst from Dengakuman's hands and hit Jelly Jiggler.

Jelly Jiggler flew into the wall and then hit the ground. "Haruser...I may have to use the Silver Nu Hanky Ray(1.)..." Jelly Jiggler said weakly. "His friendship with the rock is too powerful."

"I DON'T THINK SO!" Dengakuman said as he stabbed Jelly Jiggler in the back with a sharp piece

of tofu.

"MUSICAGLER!" Gasser shouted. "DENGACIA! YOU *********************************************************************************************************************** DOG THINGY!"

To be continued...

Chapter 3: Beauty was extremely angry at Jelly Jiggler. She decided to TAKE OUT HER ANGER ON CHURRO CHARLIE FOR PRACTICE. She went to Churro Charlie's house, which was over the sea, and was a churro. Beauty knocked on the door about 9000 times saying, "Churro, churro, CHURRO, CHURRO,CHUrrroooooooosss...CHURRO!" once per knock. After 3 hours, Churro Charlie peeked out of the top of his churro house.

"Yes?" he said.

Beauty held out her hands, which were burning with black flames. "YOU MUST DIE." After several censored scenes, about 100 flaming punches, a churro that screamed, a volcano eruption, Vegeta saying,"IT'S OVER 9000!" and Bandit Keith saying,"In America"(2.), a dark flame bitch-slap, and a carrot, Churro Charlie died.

Jelly Jiggler was calmly saying to a package of yogurt bubblegum,"IF YOU DO NOT SUBMIT TO MY POWER, I WILL CRUSH YOU LIKE A GRAPE IN THE PALM OF MY HAND."

The bubblegum said,"I'd like to see you try." Jelly Jiggler tried. He really did. In the end, the bubble gum package punctured his skin, and Jelly Jiggler screamed.

Bobobo was moderately interested in this as he took a bazooka out and blew up Jelly Jiggler with it. Somehow, the bubblegum didn't even get a scratch. Beauty teleported behind Jelly Jiggler, who had somehow fully recovered, and punched him with her black fire fist. Hatenko, who had weird bugged out eyes, said to Don Patch,"Did ja see that jelly thing get punched by that person?" while pointing to Jelly Jiggler getting owned by Beauty.

"Yes, I see." said Don Patch with a long pointy nose and spectacles. "Beauty has finally gotten her Super Fist of (insert element here). In her case, the element is darkness."

Suddenly everything stopped. Bobobo stopped picking his nose, Beauty stopped beating the crap(jelly) out of Jelly Jiggler, Hatenko lowered his level of worship for Don Patch, penguinkirby stopped trying to avoid doing homework, Jelly Jiggler stopped complaining about life, Dengakuman stopped orbiting around the moon, Soften's swirly head unswirled, Black Bobobo stopped picking his nose, Pickles stopped perving on celebrities, the Rice Soup Alien stopped eating rice soup, Rice stopped trying to stop the Rice Soup Alien from putting rice in rice soup, Suzu stopped pestering Battleship to buy her a ice cream cone, Battleship stopped saying "NO!", Hydrate stopped putting his feet in girls' faces, a random person stopped watching YouTube, Jati stopped beating up Hiragi, Hiragi stopped grinning at Jati, the Wig Bros stopped looking at themselves in a mirror, Kitty Poo stopped trying to decide which piece of Chocolate's chocolate he should eat, Chocolate stopped trying to reassure him, Lemon Drop(or something close to that) stopped admiring Hatenko, Rabbit Maruhage Empire C-Block commander stopped flying towards his destination, Duck Man stopped posing, the Dundy(close to that) stopped complaining about life like Jelly Jiggler was, Byakko stopped operating on the Three Bag's combined form, the Three Bag's combined form stopped screaming in agony, Bebebe stopped killing LOVE, who was trying to harass him and his seaweed hair, LOVE stopped trying to harass Bebebe and his seaweed hair, Gasser stopped being emo, Crosk stopped taunting him about being emo, General Lee Fishcake stopped his speech about fishcake injustice, J stopped being in a contest with Not Nice Cream to see if garlic/onions were better than ice cream, Not Nice Cream stopped trying to get that vampire guy and the weird TV freak with boxing gloves to vote for him, the weird TV freak with boxing gloves and the vampire guy, who where his companions, stopped trying to avoid him, Major Minor stopped hanging out with the ladies, Torpedo Girl stopped killing "idiots", Over stopped killing "idiots", the Gameboy Pig stopped playing on his Gameboy, about 45 random Block leaders stopped having a party, Wild Wister stopped watering his plants, the Kaiba KoPatch stopped sneering at another KoPatch, who he beat about 9000 times at Yugioh, Hali Maloney(something close to that he's the guy/boy with the Dark Fist of Swords), penguinkirby stopped trying to add more Bobobo characters to his sentence, and the sentence stopped and said,"WHAT THE HELL! DON PATCH IS BEING INTELLIGENT!"

Don Patch continued and said,"That sentence will probably be the longest penguinkirby has ever typed. Now let's explain this about straight men. Every year, a natural straight man is born who looks exactly like Lambada or Beauty, only with different colors of clothes. A natural straight man will acquire his/her power when extremely angry, or extremely freaked out. Depending on their mood at that time, an element will be chosen. Hatred = darkness, anger = fire, calmness = water, happiness = light, toughness = earth, somewhat provoked = wind, no mercy = ice, and idunno = lolpower. However,

people who are straight men, but not natural straight men, do not have a straight man super fist, but their freak out level increases significantly."

"DON PATCH WAS SPEAKING INTELLIGENTLY!" Beauty freaked out as she smashed Jelly Jiggler's face into a random wall.

Bobobo held Don Patch up by his top thorn and thought,"Could Don Patch have more appearances

in this story than me?" Bobobo snapped off Don Patches top thorn and looked into his head.

Inside Don Patches head: There where fifty Intelligent KoPatches in his head, and one of them had

a huge chain gun with 25 barrels and was about to fire it at Bobobo when Bobobo flicked the KoPatch away. It flew out of his head and landed in a volcano and died. Because Don Patch's lead KoPatch was dead, he became regular Don Patch. Suddenly, Don Patch fired 3 lasers from his eyes and melted Jelly Jiggler into...rubber? Then, when Beauty punched him, her fist bounced off him, twisted backwards and hit Rabbit Maruhage C-Block commander in the face, since he just landed behind her to get revenge on "CHEESE." Don Patch said. (Beauty)

"I don't have time to fight you silly rabbit!" Beauty said. "I need to beat up on Jelly Jiggler even though he vulcanized!" Beauty grabbed one of his rabbit ears and tossed him in the volcano. Suddenly Bobobo realized that Beauty was breaking one of his shields, and just defeated a enemy without asking him.

"Beauty..."

"Yes?"

"YOU'RE BREAKING MY SHIELD, YOU BEAT UP A ENEMY WITHOUT ASKING ME, AND EVEN THOUGH YOU CAN COME BACK LATER TO BE THE STRAIGHT MAN, YOU ARE AN ENEMY NOW! YOU MUST BE DEFEATED!"

Bobobo calmed down and said,"So where do you want the fight to be?"

"I say that weird arena where that hobo with the wheel in his head lives, you know, in Cyber City?"(I dunno if I just did the punctuation wrong O.o.) Beauty said.

"Okay." Bobobo said. "Super Fist of the Nose Hair: Super Bobobo Gondola!" An elevator with huge spikes on the sides and assorted cannons, lasers, bows, guns, crossbows, on the top, and some swords, a laser saber, a chainsaw, 3 razor blades, a claw, some spears, and 10 knives attached to automatic swivel arms on the bottom of the elevator. Bobobo opened the door, and sat down. Beauty shrugged and also sat down. Inside, Bobobo was playing a horror movie, where Micheal Jackson was doing the Thriller dance, and 5 woman in one bed were doing stuff to the beat of Thriller. Very coincidentally, Serviceman was selling enhancements to the zombies...

Beauty screamed and smashed the TV with a flaming black fist. "Beauty! It was just getting to the good part!" Bobobo whined. Beauty glared at him. Bobobo picked his nose. Suddenly the elevator stopped.

The door opened and they saw Cyber City...but it was controlled by CHEESE AND PICKLES. Bobobo gasped. "OMG! IT'S THAT OVAL THINGY THAT I DITCHED IN THE ANIME SERIES BECAUSE I WANTED TO!" Cheese, apparently, wasn't alive and therefore, he did not talk.

Pickles picked up Cheese and held him in front of him. "Super Fist of Snackfood:Ultimate Cheese Beam!" A huge beam of lighting and fire blasted towards Bobobo.

"Super Fist of the Nose Hair: Jelly Jiggler says,"OBJECTION!"" Bobobo said lazily.

Jelly Jiggler appeared out of nowhere in a Phoenix Wright suit, held up his lucky Nu hanky in front of him and pointed at Pickles. "OBJECTION!" The beam bounced off his Nu hanky and shot off

towards Pickles, who had apparently discarded Cheese in the trash. Pickles then ran into the wheel-head-hobo's arena, then the beam followed him, bounced off the circle tracks and bounced everywhere inside the track where Pickles was, and Pickles got incinerated.

"I'll be back!" Pickles screamed in pain.

"If you say so." Bobobo yawned. Suddenly he spun around and pointed at Beauty. "Time to fight you!"

Somehow, the battle Rpgized. The area turned into pixels, and a menu screen popped up. Beauty freaked out and said,"WTF! I look like the Alteisen...(3)" Beauty did look like the Alteisen, with mechanized robot parts and a laser cannon, a sword, and a claymore. Bobobo walked over to the menu, and punched the Special Attacks button. Apparently Bobobo had infinite attacks, which made Beauty think,"How do I beat him?" Then Beauty glanced at his HP bar and SP bar. "OMG! HE HAS 5000 HP AND SP!"

"That's pretty low,"Bobobo said. "You have 50000 HP and 10000 SP. But I have THE SECRET WEAPON." Bobobo walked over and pressed the attack, "Super Fist of the Nose Hair: Summon Characters Level 3: 3 Characters!" Bobobo's afro opened, and 3 figures jumped out and landed behind Bobobo. They crossed their arms and waited for the next chapter, because penguinkirby stopped time because he wanted to end this chapter very badly.

This note is 1 week apart from the first note. Yeah, remember to check the poll on my profile. Sorry it took so long to finish this chapter.

In Rave Master, Musica has a spear called "the Silver Ray", which used to be a huge battleship that could obliterate just about anything.

Go to YouTube, and search for a video called,"IT'S OVER NINE THOUSAND!...In America.(by shedninja001)

Alteisen is a mech from "Super Robot Taisen Original Generation, on Kyosuke's storyline.

These number better show up or I will scream.


End file.
